Thursday, September 30, 2010


Over the last year, mostly thanks to others, it has become abundantly clear that I tend to make myself look like a total jerk on the internet. I think it has something to do with my tendency to type before I think. Which is actually more pathetic than speaking before thinking, as I can SEE WHAT I TYPE before I submit it to the world of the internet.

Between angering the mob of masters riders on the New England Cyclocross internet list, alienating friends by giving them backhanded compliments, aka insults on the internet, and getting into inane fights on the twitter. I have finally realized that perhaps I need to take a step back and take a deep breath before I type away. (Took long enough right, I KNOW)

Perhaps it is due to a weird inner desire to increase my internet celebrity, or because I have ADD that I tend to put myself into awkward positions that result in a lot of animosity heading my way.

So, internet, and people I know in real life, please help me fight my total inability to realize when I am in the midst of doing or saying something stupid that will result in increasing the douche-bag/idiot persona that I've been accidentally been cultivating, because at this rate, someone is going to bash my head in.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Nor'easter Cross

Ok, I don't have a lot of time, so I'm just going to be brief, in theory that means people will actually read this post instead of just glazing it over for photos and videos.

The Course
I'll start by saying the course was so hard, incredibly hard, harder than you think it could be, it reminded me of when Mel Gibson was put on the rack at the end of Braveheart. Two monster climbs, incredibly technical descents, a run up so steep that I thought I was going to fall backwards, and some seriously long flat bits of pavement. To win, you needed to climb, pedal hard on the pavement, be able to run and be gosh darn brilliant at driving. I was totally screwed, I'm only good at driving.

The Race
Seeing as the course was "a mountain bike race" I figured the start was not super important and the race would be so strung out that my start position didn't matter. I was right, start was into a climb, and the rest sorted itself from there. As the race went on I let Dave Chiu get away, but I wrangled him in and then he dropped out, lame. The other person I was out to beat was Bramhall, who I cut off on the first run up and never saw again. But the last person, was Ian, for he and I are vying for valuable Hebrew Cup points. We spent the first few laps going back and forth until he eventually disappeared, he later claimed he was "sick" and had given up pretty early on, but whatever I beat him by 2 placings. I also got passed by a few people along the way, but I didn't know them, so who cares what their names are. Final result: 19 of 36

Post Race
After basically crying from pain, if you recall the course was INSANELY HARD, I eventually recovered and watched the Unified Bouldering Series competition, which was awesome, then some rock concerts by the Walkmen and !!!.

Big ups to JD, Al and Myerson for getting linked in to such a great event. I'll be back.

Oh last thing, I got a new bike yesterday, I'm too lazy to bust out the camera, but I just want to thank Wheelworks for getting me the hookup!

Thursday, September 16, 2010


Well after a rather rousing couple of days it finally seems like the nonsense is over, the anger either real or perceived has subsided and I can readily admit that Myerson set me up pretty darn good to have my internet ass totally kicked.

I should have seen it coming, but I didn't much like this girl:

Myerson has used his years of experience to trick poor me into a trap.

I only wish Admiral Ackbar had been there to warn me.

And as a result of my brash tweeting and e-mailing I openly subjected myself to ridicule:

At the end of the cycle what have I learned:

-Think before hitting send
-When you ask for anger, you shouldn't be shocked to get it
-"Bike Racing is Serious Business" to some people and don't treat it as light hearted as I do.
-When you enter the lions den, expect to be pounced on.
-I'm an immature jerk, who probably should stay on the sidelines instead of picking fights with not a lot of information.
-Jonny Bold is Reasonable Badass

I should have known all of this going in, but I didn't and well, at least I learned some lessons. So, yeah, NECX list people, sorry for flooding your inboxes.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Quadcross 2010 REPORT

Yesterday I had my Quads Crossed, it was rather painful. While it was nice to see so many familiar faces again after my 9 months away from Boston, that did not save me from embarrassment.

In fact, I was going around before the cat 3 race, openly insulting the people I wanted to beat (Matt, Ian, AJ, Jeff Z, Dave) insisting that their souls would be crushed and that they were standing in the presence of greatness. Now, after all this hype it would seem reasonable that I would back it up with a brilliant result, right?

Well, you'd be wrong, horribly, horribly wrong. I'll save you the really gritty details and try to summarize my cat 3 race in brief. Basically, I started at the back, moved up to the top 15 or so by chopping a lot of wheels, finding myself near the people I wanted to beat. But then, I got a terrible stomach cramp and started bleeding places, only recovering on the last lap to close a huge gap to the guy well in front of me and crush him in a sprint for 41st. Oh, somewhere in there I got passed by Bramhall who soon after crashed into the course tape and I said "C'mon Dude" to which he replied "Fuck you Steve!" He later passed me again, and apologized.

Oh, after my outstanding result, I then mulled around the parking lot for a bit, and started to socialize with all the people in the Elite race that were about to beat me. Details aside, it is important to note that I specifically asked Pete Bradshaw NOT to lap me.

Anyhow, started in the back, tried to hang in there, but just tried to ride steady. Early on I lost a lot of time to Steve Lehmann, a guy on a Ridley and AJ, but I eventually caught them and then opened up a huge gap. But afterwards, I got lapped by the top five, and then PETE, who if you recall I had SPECIFICALLY ASKED NOT TO LAP ME. Anyhow, I rode on, and finished 27th or so, beating several people.

So, basically, the fitness is there, I think and perhaps I can pull something together and be fast later this year.

Highlight heckles of the day:

Devon: "Steve catch that guy!" After said dude was caught, "Whoah, I didn't actually expect you to catch him"

Threshold Guy to his teammate: "Catch that guy [me], he insulted us on his blog!"

Lauren: "At least it's not hot like in Israel, right?"

Lauren: "Are totally loving your bike right now?" (Toward the end of the Elite race, after many laps on that course)

Matt: "There goes Steve Hopengarten, who just got back from Israel and is re-learning English" (While on the PA System)

Anything by Ian in Hebrew.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Cyclocross 2010, Happy New Year 5771 and Cross Competitions

Oh, Hey America!

Return to America

I made it home. The flight from Tel Aviv to Boston was not pleasant, as I totally f-ed up my strategy to beat jet-lag, and my connecting flight from JFK to Boston got cancelled and I had to rebook last minute the night of my departure from Tel Aviv. But, I did make it back to Boston, with both my bikes in the box I used to get them to Israel 5 months prior.

Let's see, after that, rain-out, a little riding, a couple of weekends at Wells Ave, and finally just 2 days ago I got on my rebuilt 'cross bike and stopped by McKittrick's early season special WNSP course in Allston, and after these 3 race-type efforts, it has become abundantly clear that I will be in a world of hurt for the first few weeks of 'cross season.

Hopefully, my first foray into my 'cross-scapades 2010 will not be as painful as last year, where it was WICKED HOT DUDE and I was horrifyingly out of shape. So, we'll see how things go, but there is a high probability of embarrassment in the forecast.

Cyclocross Competitions

Having fallen far short of getting Verge Points last year, Colin's INCREDIBLE INTERNET SKILLS allowed me to learn I was almost the "Fastest Guy Without A Verge Point." So for this season, I'm bringing the competition back, and it is going to be a permanent fixture on the site, or so I've been told. I'll talk about some of the contenders in the near future. But for now I'll tell you that Dave Chiu is wicked excited.

The other 'cross competition that I'll try and data wrangle is the Hebrew Cup, which is going to be the best rider, by points in New England that speaks Hebrew, or raced in Israel or something like that. Who are the competitors, you ask?


Winner gets a case of Manischewitz, 10 rolls of hallah or something else really Jewish. I'll figure out some real rules at some point.

Happy New Year 5771

Oh, Happy New Year! 5771 started yesterday, and I'm looking forward to this year after a rather hectic 5770, which involved living in greater Boston, Colorado and Israel. I think I could use a bit of stability at this point.